Becky Turtle
Friday, April 09, 2004
People in LA have too much money. I have a client who's the wife of one of the CEOs we do a ton of work for. The CEO is also best buddies with one of the partners here. Anyway, this woman has a little hobby that she thinks is a business and she "wants nothing but the best" for her little business so she's forever calling me and asking me to read, like, the photocopier service agreement and the lease agreement for her little retail store and the fine print on the invoices she ordered. Then when she gets me on the phone she wants to talk forever, about the color of the new product she's going to do, or the new idea she had. Always she's telling me how "dog-tired" she is or how she's been "working non-stop" on this business of hers. From what I can tell that means chatting up the ladies she does Pilates with and calling me. She keeps me on the phone for huge amounts of time and has these crazy "what if" scenarios. The business, by the way, is preposterous. It's a high-end personalized pet product store and mail order business. She's got like six terriers. Maybe only four but she's nuts over these dogs and has personalized silver dog bowls for each one and all kinds of stuff. I mean, it's not really a business at all -- it's this woman's fantasy about what a business might be, if she really knew anything about running a business at all. So every time she calls me she's saying something like, "I'm thinking about taking the business in a new direction," and telling me about some "Internet community idea" or about the important meetings she's going to have next week that are going to be shocking and exciting.
I don't have time for this. I have to be nice to her, and encouraging to her, because, well, her husband is Mr. Big, not to mention she's over to dinner or playing golf all the time with one of the important partners in this practice group. And she LOVES me. She's all the time calling to "update me on the business" and complain about how exhausting this schedule is for her and how her creative energies are being drained by, well, doing anything practical at all. And when she's not calling me she's sending me inspirational e-cards and things. Which I have to respond to. But, you know, I'm drafting prospectuses and handling mergers and this woman wants to talk to me for forty minutes on whether she should get the new product line manufactured in the United States or overseas and thinks there are important international law issues to discuss. I can only put her through to voicemail so many times before she starts getting bitchy but it is hard always to be nice. She pays her bills, though. And trust me, I bill her for every minute of every call.
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